The alternate title of this post could be “Runners, and the lies they tell.” Or maybe even, “The things no runner wants to really tell you.” That might be more realistic. Don’t get me wrong, I love pounding the pavement and doing all things running related. But there are some side effects that I could really do without. Maybe some of these shouldn’t be talked about on my blog, but I’ve learned that I really have no shame so here goes!
- Nasty summer skin. This seems to be something that happens only in the summer months, and by that I basically mean April through October in Texas. And maybe it’s just me, though I do know of at least two other runners in San Antonio who deal with this so maybe it’s just something that happens when you spend time running in such a hot and humid climate. Whatever the cause, it’s worse during the hottest months. See, when I run, I sweat a lot and my sweat has a pretty darn high salinity count (is that the technical term? Probably not). And all that nasty, salty sweat gets stuck mostly along my jaw line. And I break out like a thirteen year old girl, it isn’t pretty and no amount of expensive facial wash helps. Hopefully once November rolls around I will look less like I’m going through puberty and more like the grown up I pretend to be.
- Running is good for weight loss. This has to be the number one biggest lie EVER told to me! How am I going to lose weight when I am hungry ALL the time from running all the miles? It just isn’t going to happen in my world right now. I’m in a pretty happy place with my weight, so I’m not real angry about this one. That’s not to say I would hate losing a couple pounds to reach that ever elusive “race weight.” But here’s the thing about actual marathon training that no one told me BEFORE putting down my hard earned cash: chances are good all those extra miles will lead to a few extra pounds.
- Chaffing in uncomfortable places. This one might lose me the few readers I actually have, but it’s high on my list of hated running side effects. I’m not talking about that dreaded chub rub on my legs, I am happy to talk about that in public to anyone who will listen. I have scars from my first half marathon, they aren’t pretty, but sit down and listen while I tell you all about them! No…I’m talking about chaffing on my bum. It’s uncomfortable to have and to talk about, and on the most humid days it doesn’t seem preventable. But if nothing else, listen to my words of wisdom. I might not be smart enough to prevent chaffing with Body Glide because I’m half asleep when I get dressed to leave for a run in the morning. However, I do have a fantastic cure for when it happens. Get yourself over to Amazon, and order yourself some Dr. Smith’s baby ointment. That shiz is the best cure all ever. And, if you happen to have yourself a diaper size person, it’ll work great for them too.
- Running is great because it’s so cheap, just throw on some shoes and go! Except for when it’s not. Because my shoes (when not purchasing last years model from Running Warehouse) cost over $100. And I need special socks to prevent blisters, and the brand I’ve found that work the best are over $12 for one pair. And that chaffing? Well, usually the higher priced shorts, tanks and bras will help prevent that. So I guess I’m shilling out over $40 for one pair of shorts, but I don’t run just one day a week do I? And I think we all know I’m not doing laundry every night of the week. For most workout (non running) clothes I’m happy to buy a $7 pair of shorts from Ross, but I’ve learned that quality really seems to come from a higher price point. And if we add race registration to the mix, well, things really start to get out of hand.
The list of things I don’t love about running is relatively short when I compare it to the list of things that running has added to my life. From running I’ve gotten an entirely new self outlook and have found confidence in myself that surprises me every day. I’ve become part of a community that is huge, yet so connected and supportive of each and every member. I’ve also made many close friends, some of whom live a just a few miles away and others I might never meet (hello computer people!). And most days that’s all I think about, but some days, I have to embrace the negative and try to laugh about it. I guess that’s today! I hope I didn’t embarrass you too much talking about my butt chaffing.